BAM BAM FOR RENT



I gave birth to "Bam-Bam." Give him a bat and you better watch out.



A light saber whipping on a 5th grader.

From his highchair, he can nail anything directly into the sink. Got a spoon, baseball, sippy, blueberry or rod iron napkin holder? Yeah, he can make it.

Not only in the sink, but in the strainer.

Need a drawer opened? Is it locked? This 20 month old specializes in breaking into child lock safety apparati. I've tried 3 different kinds. None are Conrad proof. If you need a tester, hire my kid. He can tear off any adhesive, break through plastic, and jerry-rig his way into any door. And if it's not safety proof, even better. He can pull out even the toughest of particle board cabinets and toss them over his head. Filled with 20 pounds of toys? No problem. How he doesn't get hurt is just a sign of his dexterity and quick moves.



This was clean 10 minutes prior and
yes, that is a deflated floral intertube around his waist in case he drowns in his messes.

Scissors, no problem. He locates the most hidden. Markers, no problem. He finds the reddest one and can mark every wall within seconds. Got a golf club? Professional wall dinger. Got tubs of legos or baskets of blocks? Professional tipper. Yesterday he lifted the piano (keyboard) with one hand. Need disorganization and stuff all over in minutes, just call me and I can rent him out for a while for the great price of, well, FREE.

Today's prayer: "Lord, you know how I didn't eat or drink water for over 4 months bearing this adorable bundle of muscle? Remember how I laid in bed and I was fed nutrition and vitamins through a PICC line in my arm landing 2 mm from my heart? I think the doc overdid it. He's a gnarly strongboy that I can't keep up with. He's perfectly made, I know, I know, but can we hold off on any more muscle development at least until 1) he has a bit more control over his movements or 2) he's made it to the big leagues and Seth and I can retire?"

KINDERGARTEN

I remember bawling as I left my house for the first day of kindergarten. Pigtails were for babies. My mom took me back in and changed it up.

So, it's no surprise as Caleb and I go to get dressed for the big first day that he directs me in combing his.

"Now, Mom, I want a wave, but a very flat wave."

I do my best to style a flat wave.

We go to look at what new shirts we have to choose from.

"Mom, you have to iron the crunks out of them. They all have crunks."

"I see, well, here's one without crunks."

We arrive and I ask what he thinks about his new teacher, Ms. Stone, a babysitter of mine growing up and Chloe's kindergarten teacher.

"She is so cute," short pause, "and pretty."

The innocence a precious moment.

I sit on the back table observing him. He finds a table to play, greets new friends as they arrive, and chats. And then it hits. My boy's growing up too fast. Look at him; smart, organized, and friendly. He's a doll. Tears well in my eyes and I can't believe I'm verklempt. I've been waiting for school to start to get a break from the little whiner for weeks now! ;) 

                                                        The bell rings, time to say goodbye to mommies and daddies, soon to be regular old mom and dads. My husband, Conrad, and I turn and walk down to the "Boo-Hoo, Ya-Hoo Breakfast."

Two down, one to go.

I pick him up at noon, Ms. Stone ushers him to the car with a thumbs up.

Once settled, I ask how his first day was.

"I learned to kiss my brain."

"Cool! How many kids are in your class?"

"Well, there are 100 boys and 18 girls."

"Wow! That's a lot, how fun! What else did you learn about?"

"Um, I know! I got a spork."

"A spork, huh? That's super duper, Caleb!"

"Yeah, look mom," and there it is, a white plastic spork sticks up out of his chubby little hand. A spork that will be photographed and entered into his book.

My little guy, Caleb: A kindergartner, a perfectionist, an admirer, a buddy, and one who recognizes the coolness of a spork.

Today's Prayer: "He is who he is. Chloe, Conrad, too. We are who we are, and You love us all. Assist me to mother each's strengths and mold them to be the best they can be."